Dear caregivers, teachers, and anyone who loves someone who struggles with flexibility,
Welcome to my website! I am happy you’re here. As a behavior analyst and a parent of my own learner with autism, I can tell you with certainty that reading this adorable book will not solve any problems by itself. It is a tool. Hopefully, it is a useful, fun, and adorable one, but a tool nonetheless. I have included some tips to help you carry the lessons in this book to your daily interactions with your learner. Have questions or want more ideas? Drop a comment!
Have fun,
Liz
*Anxiety is contagious.
Children are much more emotionally intuitive than we give them credit for. If we allow our anxiety to take hold, it will show. So, when introducing something new, don’t walk on eggshells or apologize for it. Stay positive. Treat it like an exciting adventure!
*Prepare and prime.
*When first introducing changes, prepare the person ahead of time. Use visual supports if you need to, drawing or writing down the expectations. After you have prepared your learner, you can check with them. Ask, “Where are we going?” and, “What are we going to do again?” Don’t forget: it’s going to be fun!
*Offer calming encouragement.
*Don’t disregard the person’s feelings. If they have questions, answer them. If they seem worried, give them comfort. But be careful. There is a fine line between offering “comforting encouragement” and “comforting escape.” Comforting escape lets your child know that you will protect them from the bad stuff. This tells them that you agree that new things are “bad stuff!” Comforting encouragement lets the child know you are there for them and believe with your whole heart that they can do it. You are setting an expectation with kindness and love. You believe they can do it and that they will thrive.
*Encourage but do not force.
*If the person completely resists change, don’t push too hard. Instead, let them see you enjoying it. Yes, I know this might feel uncomfortable, but here’s the thing. If they see and hear you having fun, they might change their minds and give it a try. If they don’t join, that’s OK, too. You have delivered a message telling them that change is fun, not scary. Don’t give up. The more they see you doing new things and enjoying it, the better.
*Choose new activities wisely.
Get out in the community and try some new places, but think carefully and start small. Stay local, don’t expect to stay for a long period of time, be ready to alter plans or leave early, and prepare your learner ahead of time. Think about the learner’s interests. Do some research, and start out with places that the learner is more likely to enjoy.
- Do they like animals? Try a zoo.
- Like science? Try a tech museum.
- Like to explore things tactilely? Try a children’s museum.
- Like lots of sensory input? Try an amusement park or trampoline park.
- Like art? Try a crafting class, art class, pottery painting, etc.
*Offer choices and control.
Try offering the learner options. There are so many ways to give your learner choices and control over some aspect of the outing. Here are just some examples.
- Offer a choice of 2 different places to go: show them pictures or the websites.
- Offer choices of what the learner would like to bring with them. Maybe a choice of comfort items?
- Offer a choice of if the learner would prefer to go alone with you, or if they would prefer to bring a friend or another person of comfort.
- If you are visiting a place with options to buy things, you can offer choices this way.
*Consider not just preferences, but also what they might find aversive.
Something might sound fun at the surface, but it is important to also keep the learner’s dislikes in mind. This is especially true if the learner has sensory defensiveness (such as aversion to sounds, heights, fast movements, smells, etc.) or social anxiety.
- Sound aversive? Avoid loud and busy places. However, if you really think they will like the place, then get some awesome and comfortable noise-cancelling headphones and go at a time that is less busy. Be sure to acclimate the child to the headphones ahead of time. It can take a couple of tries to find the right pair.
- Tactile aversive? It’s likely that roller coasters, trampoline parks, etc will be a bad idea. That being said, no one ever really knows until they try something. Just make sure not to start with something if it will directly challenge something very difficult for the child. Start with something that works with their strengths.
- Crowd aversive? Visit places during off season or during times or days in which they are known to be less busy.
- Aversive to waiting? Avoid places that will try their patience. At least at first. Waiting is a skill that can be taught, but it takes time and it is important not to push a learner too hard at once. Asking them to wait a long time for an activity you are not even sure they will like… that’s too much to ask.
*Want more tips?
See my sister site, LisneylandABA for more ideas and insights.